Dizzy

“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re going to be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.”

I really like this quote from comedian/director/actor Mel Brooks.  It’s so very true.  The world has turned and spun a full circle around the Sun since I came to Moldova. And after the dizzying whirlwind of my first year of service has come to an end, it has been difficult to sit down and put my thoughts and experiences into words.

This past June was exciting and tiring. And hot. Summer arrived in Moldova with a vengeance.  I took a brief trip into Bucharest, Romania to take a test.  Bucharest is a beautiful city that is somewhat at odds architecturally.  You have these gorgeous old buildings from the 18^th and 19^th centuries (and even earlier!) sitting right next door to buildings in an authoritarian, Soviet-style design.  It can be eye-opening but for some reason it fits with the cultural vibe of Bucharest.  The people are vibrant and strange and surprisingly welcoming to strangers for a large European city. I took a rutiera to Bucharest from Chisinau: a lovely nine-hour drive through the Moldovan and Romanian countryside.  I forgot how terribly bored one can be on a nine-hour drive.  Fortunately on the way there I had company with two fellow Peace Corps Volunteers.  We talked and joked along the way to pass the time. Then once in the city we took some time to explore after taking the test. We even had an opportunity to be shown around by a local Romanian who knew a friend of one of my travel companions.  It’s a small world.

After returning from Bucharest, my fellow Rîșcani sitemates and I organized an event for other Volunteers around the country as well a few of our local Moldovan friends.  We spent a few hours at a community pool and then a homemade meal at a host family’s house.  We had 10 visitors come join us for Rîșcanipalooza and we look forward to trying to get more Volunteers come see our site next year.  More than just bringing friends together for a fun afternoon and evening, we had a chance to interact with local Moldovans. It was a great success all around!

June was not just filled with travel and Rîșcanipalooza. I can proudly say that my organization finalized the project for a wheelchair-accessible playground with sensory equipment!  It was a long, delayed process that finally came to an end on June 24^th.  Up until that day I was still racing around with my partners to ensure that everything would be ready in time.  We welcomed the Peace Corps Moldova Country Director to the opening and had children sing songs and put on a short skit.  Then the children were able to play! I could not keep from smiling that morning, watching the children play games and hop on the swings.  It was one of those moments where all the anxiety and stress from service are just washed away. I felt nervous speaking just before I had the kids cut a ribbon.  I knew what I wanted to say in English and Romanian, but when the moment came I could not help but feel choked up.  On a small level, it was a long time coming for me. However, it took a lifetime for the children at the Phoenix Centre to have an opportunity to play outside. I certainly took such pleasures for granted growing up in the US.  These kids now have a chance and a safe space to do the same.  I know I will remember that day for the rest of my life.

The new group of Peace Corps Trainees have come to Moldova.  The bright and shiny M31s are here, 59 strong, and already enjoying the stresses of public transportation and new languages.  I was asked to assist in several training exercises for the new group in June and early July.  The first was called LAUNCH Event, which is a day-long, volunteer-run information and networking event for the new group of Volunteers to hear from the M30s and M29s about our experiences so far.  Another Volunteer, Albert, and I served as Hosts for the event and attempted to break up sessions with humor and games.  I was able to draw on some improvisational games I learned from a group in Rhode Island, Bring Your Own Improv, and I think we did a pretty decent job. At the very least, I don’t think we embarrassed ourselves too much. I also ran a session on resiliency with Peer Support Network to demonstrate how important it is not to allow stress at work and home.  We encouraged the new group to reach out to PSN and each other during times of anxiety rather than attempting to push through alone.  In the Peace Corps, your fellow Volunteers are your best resource for coping with difficult times.

My program manager also approached me to put together a presentation for the M31 Community and Organizational Development Trainees on project design and grant-writing.  I was very flattered and set to work. The day of the presentation I went to Ruseștii Noi, near Chișinau, and met the new group of CODs.  There was a wide depth of experience and subject knowledge already in the new group that was impressive.  I believe their partners and organizations will be very lucky to have the new group of Volunteers.  I did my best to give a basic presentation on project design and the importance of it moving forward, as well as expectations to have on project design in Moldova.  I could not stress enough how vital it is that the Volunteers look to each other and to the group of M30s in country for support and advice when it comes to designing projects.  We are each other’s greatest resources. I suppose that is true on a lot of levels!

Somedays I have trouble believing that I have actually been working in Moldova for over a year.  It feels like a few days ago it was winter, and only a few weeks before that I rolled out of a plane.  I am beset with struggles and disappointments in my service. I have made my fair share of mistakes.  When you are not at the top of your game, it is hard to look back and see victories.  And it can be even more difficult when I see the amazing work of my colleagues around the country and even serving in other countries around the world.  How is it that their service is so fundamentally impactful, so vital for their communities?  And how can mine possibly compare?  These are the basic thoughts facing every single Peace Corps Volunteer who has ever and will ever serve.  It is impossible not to want to compare our services to each other, especially today with social media and instantaneous communication.  Coupled with our need to feel instant gratification, PCVs are constantly watching one another and comparing each other’s services.  It is something that Peace Corps warns us by saying, “Everyone’s service is going to be different.”  And it’s true! Every service is different. The expectations I had coming into Peace Corps have vanished in my dizzying first year in Moldova.  I have no doubt the ones I have for Year 2 will be gone in a few weeks.  I know I will make mistakes but I know I will find little victories here and there.  As the world turns, I must keep spinning with it and do my best to remain focused on my service.  Because it is going to go by fast.

Here we go.